An American studying at the University of Toronto wrote to say:

I was in talking with one roommate, when our other roommate returned from a job interview and told us how it went. When she was done, I said, “Don’t forget to write your thank-you notes!” and both roommates looked at me like I had six heads! They said they don’t write thank-you notes after a job interview and in fact think that as an employer it would be really annoying to receive one.

Is this straight from the Proper Behaviours of the Modern Canadian deck of playing cards, or is it a monstrous abberance?

To find out, I did what every American would do in such a situation—I called Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and demanded a meeting. He refused, despite my insistence that as an American I outranked him.

So instead, I wrote to the only Canadian I know, the inestimable (though less inestimable than me) Phil Renaud. I put the question to Phil, are Canadians constitutionally unable to express thanks?

ehhh

this is a tough subject.

Well, let me say this: I have written the thank you note. Once, in fact, and I did not get the job. However, that is not what deterred me.

When I started working at my job as a disc jockey some years ago, I was in charge of hiring new staff on a quarterly basis. About 20 applicants every quarter, about 10 of which are intereviewed, and every time somebody sent a thank you note (probably 50% of the time) it a) seemed a little annoying, and b) didn’t really even matter, because I could not remember even a day later which of the interviewees sent a thank-you note.

So, now I never send one. I figure, if I can’t express my desire for the job during the interview, then I’ve done something wrong already. A thank-you note doesn’t seem to be able to change that.

hope things cleared things up! Cheers!
-Phil Renaud

Thanks for the response, Phil! (Phil is a fellow, and, frankly, much better fadtastic author by the way.) So there it is: the motivation. Now for the opportunity. . . .

American job publications insist, beg, and practically threaten you to write thank-you notes after a job interview. The Business Writer states:

After a job interview, it is both polite and prudent to write a follow-up letter or e-mail message. When drafting this document, your goal is to thank the employer, offer more information, and show that you’re interested in the position.

But Canadian advice is the polar opposite. The Canadian site of Yahoo! HotJobs quotes H. Anthony Medley, author of Sweaty Palms, the Neglected Art of Being Interviewed, who says:

“I think they’re a bad idea.” [. . .] Medley speaks not from a human resources perspective, but from that of a hiring manager—the folks who usually make the final decision on whether or not a candidate is hired.

In his role as hiring manager, he finds thank-you notes to be “an irritant.”

“All of a sudden,” he said, “you get inundated with these thank-you letters. They’re insincere. What do you do? Throw them away, file them, write them back?”

Well then. On that level, not writing a thank-you note is understandable—what Canadian would want to write one if they already know the recipient will feel ingratitude at their thanks?

Altogether it makes me wonder if ideas of politeness and courtesy are imprecise. Canadians, I’ve learned, love sincerity. Their politeness seems based upon avoiding situations where you have to say what’s on your mind, because it might not be positive (or it might be touchingly, effusively positive). It’s a politeness of regulating distance. On the other hand, as I’ve learned from living in North Carolina, Southern Americans use a politeness dependent on insincerity. But they use that insincerity to bring more people more easily together.

So when it comes to thank-you notes after an interview—or follow-up notes to story submissions, or first phone calls after a first date—just remember that it’s part of the art of managing relationships. The other person’s expectations matter. Those expectations must be your rhetorical parameters.

Whether you’re American or Canadian, violating those expectations is just plain impolite.