Questions you shouldn’t have to ask yourself: “Jalapeño up the nose”
Dear Self:
I was chopping jalapeños for dinner, and then I picked my nose.
How do I stop the pain?
Sincerely,
Face-on-fire in Cambridge
Dear Face-on-fire in Cambridge,
First of all, you’re an idiot. But I’m sure your wife told you that already.
I’ll assume you already tried to rinse it out with water and that now you know you’ve just made things worse, because water just swishes it around some more.
Stop crying. Get a cotton ball or disc. Put some milk on it; milk naturally counteracts the capsaicin from a pepper. And then pick your nose with it—you’re good at that part.
Sincerely,
Self
